ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit.' 'And why not, darling?' he asked. She replied, 'You know that it
always gives you a headache the next morning.'

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured
a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and
unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at
my funeral!)

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write,
and they won't let me talk!'

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I
found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' she asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
Adam's underwear!'