LOT'S
WIFE
The
Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned
into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,
'My
Mommy looked back
once
while she was driving,'
he
announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone
pole!'
GOOD SAMARITAN
A
Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on
the roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw
up.'
DID
NOAH FISH?
A
Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot
of fishing when he was on the Ark?'
'No,'
replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two
worms?'
HIGHER POWER
A
Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning
how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times, but there is a
Higher Power.. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One
child blurted out, 'Aces!'
MOSES
AND
THE Red
Sea
Nine-year-old
Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out
of Egypt . When he got to the Red
Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the
people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what
your teacher taught you?' his mother asked.
'Well, no,
Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!'
THE
LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A
Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little
Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the
Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past
the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to
recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said
proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to
know.'
BEING
THANKFUL
A
Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'Your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable.
What does she say?'
The
little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'
UNANSWERED
PRAYER
The
preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud
that his daughter was so observant of his messages, 'I'm asking the
Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
'So, how come He
doesn't?' she asked.
UNTIMELY
ANSWERED PRAYER
During
the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one
of the back pews..
Tommy's mother was horrified. She
pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever
made you do such a thing?'
Tommy
answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He
did!'
TIME
TO PRAY
A
pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every
night.
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you
always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No
sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'
EQUAL
REPRESENTATION
When
my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every pet, current and
past.
For
several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, 'All girls.' This soon became part of her nightly
routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me
and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all
girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finishes
their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'
SAY
A PRAYER
Little
Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the
table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny
received his plate, he started eating right away.
'Johnny!
Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I
don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his
mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our
house.'
'That's at our house.' Johnny explained.
'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'
THE END